So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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