If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
