I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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