Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
