we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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