dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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