drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
