Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sarcasm needs its own font
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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