Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
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