Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
