You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just forgot I was standing up.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
