I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize