So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
