im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
