Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
