just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
