We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
