we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
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