He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
