Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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