I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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