We got so high we made milksteak
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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