I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
