ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
