is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
