I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
