Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize