man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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