Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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