when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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