Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
