i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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