My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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