i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
