Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
bring money and cleavage
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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