just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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