craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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