After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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