glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We're too hungover to prance.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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