she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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