i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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