I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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