Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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