My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
