yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
