sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
