Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
