She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
