Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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