dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
