I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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