We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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