I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My feet surprised me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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