i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
