Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
