nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
