that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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