morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Damn victory sex feels great
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
