I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
