Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
