I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Swine flu. Run for my life!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
