I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
